#12: Obuzibu Uganda | Nkwenda Genda Muka (katito)

More posts to follow, but for now, a brief update from Switzerland and link to the Albertine Hospital website

This is a phrase that we’ve started saying at the hospital a lot. I first learned how to ask patients “Obuzibu nki?” Which means “What is the problem?” But now, whenever the power goes out for the 10th time, or we lose a child to a completely curable illness, or I call the Ugandan Immigration Office for the 100th time and they don’t pick up, we just say “Obuzibu Uganda.” Uganda is the problem. 😂

[I will qualify that Uganda is a beautiful country, I have gleaned so many wonderful things from this culture, and things are not so black and white. We say “Obuzibu Uganda” jokingly, laughing about the hardship experienced in this country that would be considered unacceptable by American standards.]

My first draft of this post was dictated orally to my phone, and it ended up being 30 pages, single-spaced. I have so much to say, so many emotions in my head. I have decided to take a step back from my work at Albertine for at least a week. I have travelled up to Europe to spend some time with my homestay dad in Switzerland. That is essentially what “nkwenda genda muka (katito)” means, which translated to “I want to go home (for a little).” This is a temporary break, not a permanent one. I really need the rest after the last two months that I have experienced. I had to be convinced by my aunt Judy to take the trip — I felt so selfish for taking this trip when I could save so many lives with the money that I would spend taking this trip to one of the most expensive countries in the world. As I write, I still feel guilty. I've been feeling a lot like this dog I was watching the other day in the rain. He was separated from his pack, and instead of finding cover, he was just getting pounded by the rain. He would move positions, scan the area, and then move again. He just could not get comfortable, and I wanted to yell at him to go get some cover from the rain lest he get sick. I think that Europe is my temporary cover from the rain.

There were really two events that pushed me to make the decision to go to Europe, and I will write one blog post for each of them this week. I intended on writing one massive post, but I am not sure anyone would read it. Additionally, it would be too scattered with too many topics addressed. They need to be written as separate chapters of this virtual book I've found myself writing. Therefore, here is what you can expect this week:

Future Blog Post #13: What I have learned about Death

There have been a lot of really devastating deaths at the hospital that are really starting to catch up with me emotionally since my departure. Looking back over all of the deaths we have had at our hospital since I arrived, the oldest was 40 years old. The most troubling that come to mind are a 6 year old girl, a 3 year old boy, and a 17 year old boy. For the last, I also helped with the embalming process and the preparation of the boy for his grave. He was wearing his secondary school uniform, one that had “through God, all things are possible” written on the pocket. That felt like some maddening dark humor from if it came from the man upstairs [see below]. It is likely that in any ER in the United States, all of these children would still be alive. Their cases and deaths seem to haunt me…I am working on finding a mental heuristic that enables me to stay in this career path as a future clinician. If I am to continue in this line of work, I will see thousands of deaths. As for now, I don’t feel like I have the secret to staying strong in the face of needless deaths.

Future Blog Post #14: Being a Feminist in Uganda

I had a 3 hour debate with one of the doctors at the hospital who claimed that women were inferior to men and gender roles were not only Biblical but essential for society’s success. By pretty much any metric, I won the debate. By the end, we had agreed that men and women were intrinsically of equal value as human beings, and that at least in developed nations, men and women have little need for gender roles, both in relationships and certainly not in the workplace. Even though I am a winner winner chicken dinner, I left the debate feeling 200 lbs heavier with the knowledge that even the most educated of men in Uganda both supported and promulgated the subjugation of women. This also solidified the “othering” (to use a de Beauvoirean term) I have felt and seen as a woman over the last two months. I have never considered myself a staunch feminist advocate until arriving in Uganda. This is the main obuzibu that has been rusting and oiling the wheels of my brain at the same time. How on earth am I supposed to move forward after having had this debate? How can I help women in Uganda, and if not Uganda at large, but every patient that comes into AHMC from this point forward? I feel like I am at an ultimate impass and the start of a very long journey to become a stronger advocate for women’s equality and woman’s rights. Sorry if it is not your cup of tea, but there will be a longer post coming about feminism. It is what I want and need to discuss, and it’s “my blog, my choice” rules around here. There have just been too many moments of cognitive dissonance over the last few months as I watched AND experienced the inferior treatment of women in this country. 

The stories that are coming have much longer versions should you like to read my earlier drafts. I am condensing them NOT because I wanted to trivialize these stories, but so that more people would actually read all the way through my posts. 

I’ve been wanting to post for so long, but I have always been unable to say something is finished until I can say that I am proud of the final product. Even in all my years of school, I have to create work which feels high quality. These posts are coming….but I have just been traveling, recovering on sleep, and then of course, losing my bag with all of my things on a Swiss train. At least my life is always exciting. And it’s hard to care about losing clothes when I’ve watched a child take their last breath from a curable illness. 

With all of this being said, I do have one huge update for everyone who has cared enough to read my posts. I have officially finished the Albertine Hospital website. If you would like to learn about the hospital, see more photos, sign up for our hospital newsletter, donate, learn how you can help, subscribe to our newsletter, etc…it is all there at

albertinehospitaluganda.com.

I am proud of the final product, but there are surely errors. Let me know if you see anything that needs to be changed. And obviously, let me know if you have any questions.